I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Say something about gay babies.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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