I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
