butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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