yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
