Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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