Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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