You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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