i already hear my dad disowning me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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