I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
