Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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