there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
