She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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