I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
