it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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