So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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