You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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