By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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