Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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