her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Green mimosas i think yes
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
