I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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