is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
