my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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