i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
