does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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