i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I am available for nakedness
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
