suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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