so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize