naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The power of my boobs compel you
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
