Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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