my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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