Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
