I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
