dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
