would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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