hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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