before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
