if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
