so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
