my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
