I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
