Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
