chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
