ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
