Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
