Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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