Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
