I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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