Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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