So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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