that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
