Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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