The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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